There are some things that Luc and I will never agree on. Most times we can agree to disagree. But when it comes to loading the dishwasher, I’m not even graciously admitting that maybe there’s more than one way to do it or that maybe his way is just as good as mine. Because it isn’t.
Why am I taking such a stand on this? Because he comes along behind me and reloads the dishes I’ve already loaded. It irks me. Because I know my way is fine. In fact, I know my way is best. (I’ll admit I’ve been known to do the same to him. But that’s only because he does it wrong.)
Here are my rules for loading the dishwasher:
Plates: Bottom, facing the middle.
Bowls: Bottom, also facing the middle.
Glasses: Top, wherever they’ll fit.
Pretty straightforward, right? (I think even Luc and I can agree on those three basics.) But here’s where the differences in dishwasher loading techniques really start to show…
Tupperware: Always on top–manufacturer’s instructions. Unless it doesn’t fit because the top is already jammed to overflowing with 48 individual pieces of Tupperware (damn those litterless lunches!) or because it’s too big to fit on the top. Then on the bottom. I’ll take my chances with it melting and leaving behind a sludgy plastic mess rather than taking the time to wash that blasted plastic by hand.
Note (clarification: Note to Luc): Do not jam all of the lids together in a row. The water will not get between them and get them clean. Ditto on piggy backing all of the containers one on top of the other. I repeat: The water will not get between them and get them clean.
Coffee mugs: Used to be the top. Now, because the top is perpetually jammed to overflowing with 48 individual pieces of Tupperware (see previous curse re: litterless lunches), the bottom. Added bonus: because they dangle precariously from the lower spikes instead of sitting snugly between them on the upper ones, the water doesn’t pool on the bottoms of the mugs and need to be sopped up with a tea towel every time you unload the dishwasher. (Stay tuned for a future blog on “How to Unload the Dishwasher”. Oh wait: just UNLOAD it.)
Cutlery: No spoons should be spooning. No fork tines should be intertwined. No peanut butter knives should be pressed up blade-to-blade with jam knives. I’ve heard both arguments: all down (so you can grab the clean handles when you unload–ooh, there’s that UNLOADING idea again) vs. all up (so the water sprays them better and they get cleaner). But really, alternating is the key: some up, some down.
Other: DO NOT EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES put ANYTHING that has come into contact with raw egg into the dishwasher (yes, Luc, I’m talking to YOU). Not the bowl you nuked it in. Not the frying pan you fried it in. Not the whisk that whisked it, the fork that poked it or the spatula that flipped it. All that will happen is that the egg will cook into a rock-hard substance that can only be removed with a chisel. No, even if you put it back into the dishwasher a second (or a third) time (trust me, or even a fourth) it will not come clean.
p.s. The dishwasher is done. It needs to be unloaded.